THE REAL ME | LET'S GET HONEST HERE + HIATUS?

by - March 31, 2018



We live in a day and age where the real and the imagined have been mixed together in a blender. It's like making a smoothie. You add the fruit, the yogurt and a little sugar for an extra sweet flare. When you turn on the blender you can’t tell the difference between the real fruit flavor and the fake taste of sugar.

Life is the same way. Especially when you get on social media. Social media is like the smoothie. There are jewels of truth, but there’s also the touch up filter – or sugar – to make it look a little sweeter. No one posts about how they fell on the stairs yesterday or the fact their room is a disaster.
That’s what we want to see. I don’t want to hear people I don’t even know complain about their life. Most people don’t want to. If I am going to spend my time and energy worrying, I want it to be about someone I actually know. My family and “in real life” friends.

I’m not chiding people for trying to show their best self on the internet. I do the exact same thing. What I’m telling you is to stop comparing yourself to those Pinterest worthy images.
Stop thinking that it’s normal to have a perfect family and get your nails done monthly. Let’s be honest here. I’ve never had my nails done.



Real life is messy.
 It has never been as simple as the story books your mom read you as a toddler. But it isn’t all bad. There is so much good in the world. A few days ago a complete stranger was worried about my little sister because he thought she was at the park alone. Of course she was with us, but it’s the thought that counts.

We were blessed with dogs and cats and millions of animals. Soft cuddly creatures who do not judge (well, maybe cats do) they only love.
We were blessed with new paintings in the sky ever single morning and night. With the site of city lights and kisses from our little siblings. We are blessed with cozy sweaters and warm smells.

Real life holds pain. It’s the way of the world. Life = pain. But life also equals joy and deep belly laughs and love.
My life is full of love. Not the squiggly love you feel in the pit of your stomach for that cute boy character in your book. Real love. The kind that hurts and throbs and makes your heart beat faster. Love for my family and friends who honest to goodness love me. Love for and more importantly from God.



Who am I?
Sometimes I get so caught up in being perceived as the sweet, cute girl that I forget I’m not that person. I’m terribly flawed. I hurt the people I love the most, I give up too easily, I’m lazy and I judge so much. I have terrible spelling, messy handwriting, crooked teeth and dirty hair. I could honestly go on and on.

Yes, it actually hurts to write those words about myself. To show you my imperfections. But that’s what I need to do. I still want to be perceived as the same cute girl (insert Abbie’s trade mark sign), I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But a different part of me wants to show you how I’m not perfect. To inspire you to stop being perfect as well.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Who I am vs who I want to look like. When I started this blog I wanted to inspire and encourage other girls, but I’m not sure if I’m doing that anymore. My posts feel stale and I haven’t had as much engagement.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need a break. A break from all this. From blogging, Instagram and Pinterest. Life is uncertain. It has its ups and downs. In the long run of life it won’t matter if I take a month of blogging or even if I completely quit.

To answer the question you might be wondering, I am not quitting blogging. I’m not even taking a hiatus. I’m simply changing my post schedule. I will no longer be here twice a week. Instead I will only post on Saturdays, like so many bloggers I love do. It’s what I need in this time of my life.



What am I going to be doing with my extra time?

. Writing my Camp NaNo novel! It’s one of the main reasons I’m taking it slower on blogging. I’ve never done NaNo before and I want this first experience to be a success.  I even did a whole post about how I outlined it which you can read right here.  But that's all the info you're getting for now.  You'll have to wait until the end of Camp for any juicy info.

. Spending more time outside. With spring here I can bask in the sunshine for hours if it’s my wish.

. Spring cleaning. My stuff is overflowing everywhere and I desperately need to purge.

. Reading. I have a pile of books from the library that I just haven’t gotten into yet.

. Exercising. I admit it. I am a complete couch potato.

. Catching up on school. I need to start Spanish ASAP.

. Living. When I’m staring at a screen all day I go to bed feeling bleh and wake up the exact same way. I want to notice every ounce of beauty God has put in the day and soak it up.

. Spending time with family. They are my life and I don’t know what I’d do without them.

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog, whether you are a follower or only check it out once in a while. Your support means the world to me.
Do you ever feel like you’re putting on a show?  What is one thing that makes your life better?  It can be a little thing.  How often do you post on your blog?  Are you doing Camp NaNo?

~ Ella Marie

You May Also Like

31 comments

  1. This was a beautifully real and honest post. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Daisy! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

      Delete
  2. Good job, this is a great post and you wrote it beautifully! <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your honesty is inspiring, girl. I can relate to the struggle of wanting to be real, but also wanting to help and be positive. It's a hard balance to find! But please, don't feel like you're not making an impact, or your words don't matter. God's given you a unique and beautiful voice and heart to serve, and He's using you! Keep shining, and I hope your hiatus and change of schedule proves refreshing for you! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww, that means so much to me, Jessica. YES! It's hard sometimes, don't you think? This comment made me smile so much. Thank you for your sweet words. <3

      Delete
  4. This is so beautiful and honest, Ella! AHHHHH.

    Oh, yes I struggle a lot with this. Thinking that I'm fake online because I don't share absolutely everything from my real life. And I really appreciate that you've shared it here, too. It's inspiring.

    I honestly can't say enough about breaks and hiatuses. They give you perspective that you don't have to be cranking out content 24/7, and that two solid posts are better than ten flimsy ones.

    Looking forward to your posts, as always.
    best.
    k.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AHH, THANK YOU KIERA!
      I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one. Finding a balance between being myself and trying to be a better blogger can be difficult. I yeah, I'm so happy to be on a break right now. This comment brighten my day so much. <3

      Delete
  5. Many bloggers struggle with this so it's really understandable that you are taking a break. I hope I'm showing who I really am, because what's the point of being who you are not?

    Look forward to your return.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Starling. It is definitely hard to find a balance at times. Thank you for your sweet words!

      Delete
  6. That was beautifully written, and I totally understand! <3

    ReplyDelete
  7. Heyy I would like to do a button swap with you if thats okay. Btw i really like how you write and the topics of your posts are very good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd love to, I'll have your button up ASAP. I'm so glad to hear you enjoy it! I love knowing that people enjoy my content.

      Delete
  8. Beautiful and honest post. I really appreciate this, Ella. I hope you have a great hiatus (cabin mate. :P )

    Snapper | silverphoenixwriter.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Totally awesome post, and something EVERYONE needs to read. Yeah, it's fun sometimes to look like the cute girl who has everything together and is always sweet to everyone. But it is much more helpful to others and to ourselves when we allow ourselves to be who we are: people who need Jesus.

    We mess up, we don't have perfect lives, and sometimes (most of the time) we don't have everything together. It's only by showing others that side of us that we help them see who we really are: sinners saved by grace. That's what gives us peace. That's what allows us to be sweet any amount of the time and how we might have a little bit of sanity through the craziness! Not because we're good, but because He is. And that's awesome and comforting!

    So have a wonderful hiatus and fall deeper in love with what matters in life! We love you dearly (all of you, not just Instagram you) and want you to take good care of yourself! And I hope Camp treats you well! It's so much fun!!!! Happy April!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AWW, THIS COMMENT MADE MY DAY, SARAH.
      Yes, preach, girl! It truly is all Him. Thank you so much for this encouraging and lovely comment. You rock. You're literally the sweetest thing. THANK YOU! :')

      Delete
  10. I totally understand and I admire you for taking a step back to focus on what's important to you. <3 I've gotten a lot more relaxed with my blogging and posting in the past few months, I post about every couple weeks but don't really follow a strict schedule, I post when I want about what I want so I never feel like I'm forcing myself to post or writing out of obligation. Enjoy your hiatus! (and doing AWESOME at Camp Nano! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THANK YOU< HANNAH! Yesss, it's really been helping me re-focus my life. Isn't it nice to feel like you're blogging just for you? Because YOU want to. You too! <3

      Delete
  11. I can so so so relate to this! Loved this post girly!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Nabila! So glad you enjoyed it. *hugs*

      Delete
  12. This is so true! Even if we tell these truths to ourselves, I think subconsciously we still start to compare ourselves to the beautifully curated Instagram feeds and Pinterest boards. Thank you for the reminder!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES! That's exactly what I've been struggling with. I know that isn't reality, but my subconscious still compares my life to those perfect pictures. Thank you for reading it, Hanne!

      Delete
  13. This post is awesome, Ella! It’s so true. I feel like so many of us, myself included, only show the side of us we want seen? But the truth is, I’m am seriously flawed. I feel the same way sometimes about my posts being stale. Thank you for sharing this, because it’s good to be real once in a while! I’m planning to take a hiatus next month because AHH. I need a break from my online presence!
    Anyways, THIS POST WAS GREAT, ELLA <3
    ~ riley aline

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Riley! *hugs* YES, I totally relate to that. Aww, thank YOU for reading it and commenting. You go girl, hiatuses are so necessary sometimes. YOUR COMMENTS NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME SMILE. <3333

      Delete
  14. You go girl. :) Yay for positive change <3

    ReplyDelete

Comments make me smile more than you could ever imagine. Plus, making friends with a fairy is always in your best interest. I might just grant you a wish sometime.

Privacy Statement

All content on this blog, including text and graphics are property of February Fairy, unless otherwise noted. *All images unless otherwise credited are property of February Fairy or Unspash* I would be happy for you to use any images but please ask first and be sure to credit February Fairy.