Hello 2019 | Old Memories and New Goals

by - December 30, 2018


"Life is amazing.  And then it’s awful.  And then it’s amazing again.  And in between the amazing and awful its ordinary and mundane and routine.  Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax in the ordinary.  That's just living a heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life.  And its breathtakingly beautiful."

~ L.R. Knost

2018 was a year.  There were so many ups and downs.  It was full of happiness and joy greater than I can express.  Yet, like every year, there was lots of pain to go along with it. 

Before writing this post, I looked back on my journal entry from the beginning of this year.  I had no clue what was coming.  I had high expectation, writing lots of goals and making promises to myself.  Although I didn't follow through on my goals, I would still say this year has been successful.

A part of me is sad to see 2018 go, it was wonderful.  I gained confidence and learned so much.  I learned that change can be a good thing, sometimes its exactly what you need.  I learned that I have control over my emotions and my mind.  I learned that nothing is certain, even the bad things might not happen.


My 2018 Goals

Spend less time on social media

Umm… If anything, I spent much more time on social media.  Unfortunately, the majority of it wasn't even promoting my blog or posting.  It was just the endless scrolling, scrolling, scrolling.  

Stretch consistently

Yes and no.  It depends on what I meant.  I did stretch a few times a week most week.  Sometimes more and sometimes less.  But I did maintain my current level of flexibility and then some, so I would say this was a win.  

Get my driver's permit

Ask my Mom what happened here.

Read 50 books. 

Hahahahaha.  I was so naive.  I gave up on this because reading shouldn't be a race.  I read quite a few books, but I'm not sure how many. 



Complete the Gaps diet.

I never even tried.  

Write the first draft of my novel

YES!  I did this aaaaand edited that first draft twice.  Before now I didn't know if I had it in me.  Could I really write a whole book?  Was I patient enough, structured, disciplined?  Did I even have enough creativity?  Now I know the answer to those questions.  I am enough, I can do it, and I LOVE it.    

Now that its semi polished my beta readers (shout out to my fam) are reading it and giving their suggestions.  After that, I hope to send it to some more readers and then really get into the details.    

Keep up with my bullet journal.

What did I tell you, I didn’t accomplish any of these things.  I didn't keep up with my bullet journal because, wow, guess what?  It stressed me out a ton and made everything seem worse.  I know some people love it, and I love the idea of it, but it's not for me.  

Instead, I picked up normal journaling.  You know, writing about my day, my current thoughts, little story ideas.  I realized I didn't need a set schedule for every minute, I needed someone to talk to.  

Reach 100 followers on February Fairy.

Wooohoo!  I did this one, someone give me a high-five!  I'm almost to 200 now, including email, Bloglovin' and Friends Connect.

Live more, worry less.  

Yes, I can honestly say I did this.  I worried tons less what people think.  I danced in the car even though some people saw me.  I experimented with my styled.  In general, I stopped caring what people thought so much.  Because if God loves me, I'm enough.


2019 Goals

This year I'm not going to make any New Year's resolutions.  I'm going to let this year happen in whatever way it does.  I love making goals, having something to work towards, but I've never not made goals for the new year, so I'm trying something new.  I decided to do this because I achieved very few of my goals for 2018, yet, I still accomplished SO MUCH this year, even if it wasn't those specific things I wanted to.

Last year I chose one word to work on; diligence.  I liked doing this so much that this year I'm choosing three.  No goals, just three words; self-discipline, freedom and learn. 

I hope to become more self-disciplined when it comes to school, spending time on social media and choosing healthy options over unhealthy ones.

I want to gain freedom of mind.  I want to live as if what others think doesn't affect me.  I want to be free in my own skin, thinking my own thoughts and doing what I enjoy no matter what.

I hope to learn more this year about my own morals, about right and wrong.  I want to learn from the mistakes of other and evaluate things for myself.  I want to learn to use my brain to make good, educated decisions, not to judge others and to be my own person.



Month by Month Recap

January
Quite a bit of blogging / ice skating / my sister getting engaged / hardcore plotting a book
February
I turned 15! / I got contacts / auditioned for a play, but didn't end up doing it... / hardcore Olympic watching
March
Whoa, I went to a ball / spring is wonderful / seeing A Wrinkle in Time which was both really wonderful and really bad / 
April
My sis's bridal shower / YAY I did Camp NaNo and didn't fail / I don't know what else happened
May
The wedding is coming up waaaay too soon / craziness / super duper excited for summer / too many story ideas / yay, I learned to do a backbend
June
Bachelorette party / weddings are complete chaos / sunsets / cousins visiting / the wedding / getting really into watercolor 
July
What the heck, how's it July? / swimming / spending the night at my sister's house for the Fourth / watermelon / visiting Santa Fe / I got my braces! / getting caught in a thunderstorm 
August
Running through park sprinklers / art journaling / photoshoot with friends / school / swing dancing to my heart's delight 
September
Whoohoo!  I got a polaroid camera!  / my Mom and I are super obsessed with T Swift / reading a bunch of books
October
Balloon Fiesta / it doesn't even feel like Fall / WICKED *fangirls until the end of time*  / I finished the second round of edits on my novel 
November
The trees are so pretty / long walks in the Bosque / wow, I wish it was Christmas already / nothing really happened this month
December
Dancing while my family is gone / aaaaah, buying gifts if madness / feeling really disoriented / CHRISTMAS / seeing Mary Poppins Returns / I finally cut my hair!



All in all 2018 was amazing, awful and mundane.  2019 will be a mixture of the three.  But one thing is certain, life goes on.

How was your year?   What are your goals for 2019?  





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7 comments

  1. "I learned that change can be a good thing, sometimes its exactly what you need."

    ^ If anything could sum up my 2018, WELP, that would be it. I LOVE your idea about not writing any 2019 goals! Sometimes I feel like resolutions can put so much pressure on the new year, and you're right that it will unfold the way it wants to, anyway. Adore the three words idea as well! I definitely will pick out some of my own words for 2019. So glad you were able to make such progress on your novel. I hope you have a wonderful 2019! <3

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  2. Okay that opening quote like oh my goodness that's like my whole life 😮 I totally enjoyed reading this!! *High fives* Polaroid cameras are awesome. Have an amazing 2019 xxx

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  3. I love the idea of picking a word to work on in the year. I might try it. Have a great 2019!

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  4. I loved reading this!! Everything that you said and how you wanted to work on words. Just overall greatness I hope you have an amazing 2019 and good luck with the book!

    Nabila | Hot Town Cool Girl

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  5. Wow Ella, that quote is AMazing!! I definitely feel like it sums up my 2018 too - so much chaos and so much beauty all at the same time.


    I want to really dig into photography again and do some traveling in 2019. Those are my ambitious goals, but there are a hundred smaller ones too. : )


    hope your 2019 is stellar.
    k.

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  6. Sounds like you had a really fun and big year! (also thanks for the reminder lol: I just put Some Kind of Happiness on hold at the library!!)

    Have a really good 2019! I hope it's been going well so far. :)

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